Sausage as sausage.

The rest and relaxation in Vienna was fantastic. Knockwurst grew real fond of a blonde-haired, blue-eyed frau schnitzel while on this retreat. So taken by this beauty, he intends to relocate there after the war is over. Although on a break from the action, the three of us kept up on the going-on's of the war by reading papers, military and civilian issued. Seems Gen. Satin's 3rd Armored Division was really making a dent into Wurstland held territory. We were well-rested now, and excited to get back into the battle.

Prior to our departure, from Vienna back to the front, we were informed that we were selected for a very top secret and probable pivotal mission. We were to rendevous with Lt. Usker Mayer at the fuhrer's secret hide-out, in the Bawurstian Alps, for the mission details. The weather in the Alps was extreme, at that altitude, the snow never melts and it is always cold. Trudging up the trail to the hide-out was hard, all three of us suffered extreme frost-bite, requiring all of us to be defrosted in a microwave, upon our arrival. Fully defrosted now, we were told to rest for the night and that we would be briefed in the morning.

Arising at 0500, we were given breakfast and told to assemble in the briefing room. Patiently awaiting Lt. Usker Mayer's arrival, we could not help but notice the vast array of maps, intelligence, and other items laid about this room. In an attempt to get-in-the-know, we perused the maps, looking for any indication of where we may be heading. No avail, the only thing these maps indicated were where the best restaurants to eat at are. Evidently, Lt. Mayer has a fetish for superior dining. We all laughed, just as Lt. Mayer entered the room. Talk about feeling odd, you know, wondering if he was wondering if we were laughing at him. Well, the briefing would start soon, and we were advised to take our seats on the table.

0600-Briefing starts. "First off, you three sausage soldats, are to be commended for your heroic actions and courage displayed in the liberation of the hot dog carts in Ball de Park Francs." Lt. Mayer said. He then went on to inform us that Gen. Satin, thru the use of Gestapo kitchen spies, was in Schnitzelville, a small town just inside the German southwest border. He established headquarters in a country house there, while waiting on the rest of his division to ketchup. Gen Satin is known to have an affection for German pork products, and the plan is to exploit this weakness. "The plan?" Lt. Mayer stated, "The plan is to have the three of you sausages, pose as...yes...sausages!" We were amused, listening intently. "Posing as sausages, you will make your way to his dinnertable, via covered platter, and when he removes the cover, that is when you will spring into action, taking him prisoner!" Lt. Mayer exclaimed. "If successful, with Gen Satin prisoner, we will force him to make the 3rd Armored Division withdraw from Germany, thus, giving the Wurstmarcht the opportunity to strike them hard on their withdraw, disabling the 3rd Armored Division to the point of collapse!" He shouted. "This will provide for the much-needed German edge, but it is extremely risky, and you three are the best suited for this mission." He ended. "What risks?" we asked, stupidly. "The risks?, the risks are your capture, or worse, you could be eaten!" He yelled. "Your training for this pivotal mission begins immediately!" he stated and then stormed out of the room. We all just looked at each other, we thought Ball de Park Francs was a big mission, that was a drop in the bucket compared to this one.